Wednesday, 25 May 2011

sayer benci tanam anggur lama2

sayer sedey
hati sudah bengkak

mode jangan kaco

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

3 Definitions of Female Types & Traits in society

STRONG WOMAN = a woman with a sense of self-possession, who is a matriarch & assured in her womanhood.

okey.. dah terminat plak baca mende2 ni... nak amik psychology la plak as my second degree.. bley? hehe

this article is from enjoy! am not sure is there any delta, omega or gamma woman.. let me finish all the article then am gonna post it later

The definition of ‘social imaginary’ is referring to a part of society, or some other type of entity. These ‘imaginaries’ are usually understood to be constructs and in this sense are contingent on the imagination of social subjects.

Beta women: Dependancy
– deemed lazy (in mind) and easy (in body), only costing men money. Whilst she looks at the cost of the relationship being solely: Yours.
Sociological Expectation: Security.

Alpha women: Independent - viewed as being too high-maintenance, as they cost men time and money. Whereas, she looks at the financial relationship as a bartered one: $£€¥¢¤.
Sociological Expectation: Attachment.

Alpha-Omega women: Interdependency - suspected of being too much like hard work, the ‘cost-benefit analysis‘ female otherwise going by the acronym of a ‘CBA’ woman. Whereupon, she looks at the investment within the relationship as assets: Ours.
Sociological Expectation: Conduct.

This sociology theory does not take into account MISANDRY; hatred of men by women, MISOGYNY; hatred of women by men, and MISOGENDER; hatred of own gender.

Nor the notion of Beta women pretending to like men, Alpha women suffering from penis envy towards men, and Alpha-Omega women thinking of men contrary-wise to her circumstance.

Social science theory:
The three female types along with the statistical figure of their ideal male partner types to be found in society (Q.E.D) are:

Beta females: 50% ≠ Beta males: 40%
Alpha females: 30% ≠ Alpha males: 20%
Alpha-Omega females: 20% ≠ Gamma males: 40%




“The great and almost only comfort about being a woman is that one can always pretend to be more stupid than one is and no one is surprised.” (quote by Freya Stark, Author)

: or Girly girl, alternatively spelt Girlie girl, is a slang term for a girl or woman who chooses to dress and behave in an extremely traditional feminine style to convey this, such as wearing floral dresses, blouses and skirts, and talking about relationships and other activities which are associated with the traditional gender role of a girl and acting in a forever youthful persona.

Beta Female Work Ethic traits

View of Life
: Contrast. (Glass half full.)
For ‘ambition’ equates to reaching at the top never to consider a bottom as to vacillate (status) and they play it smart. Inclined to be a polymath. Most likely to do an either/or ‘Polls’ test.
Symbolised by: a trophy cup.

Their ideal forum
: the public sector workplace.
Work category: Vocation.
Public sector Icon: Betty Boothroyd
Judged on: Merit (promotions).
Sociological Concern
: utilising the world resources.
Ambitious Summary: Holier than thou.

Beta Female Character Traits

Positive Aspects
Discerning, focused, have self-awareness, proficient and are teamplayers - superiority complex.

Negative Aspects: ”The Moaners” = to grumble about any issue ceaselessly mostly to their nearest and dearest.
Likes to show-off to others, envy can take hold over what someone else has, can’t take criticism, misleads on purpose, spiteful, has a tendency to throw things mentioned back in your face, demanding and can’t cope with any kind of changes, likes to play the role of a martyr, accusational; without facts, they are also relational aggressive, tantrum prone, lacks responsibility, an infant school playground mentality, never likes anyone else acquiring things in life or having a good or better time; other than themselves — whatever the occasion, attention-seeker: hates the feeling of being missed out and uses inference as a social hindrance tactic.

Furthermore, gives back-handed compliments and a criticaster; inferior critic, also when in the company of those considered not to be in her league plays dumb or feign forgetfulness simply to be acroamatic: orally secretive, as not to *lose face* so playth the ‘damsel in distress’ thus can be thought of as socially lazy and patronising. - inferiority complex (inferior traits).

Psychological Weakness
: isolation – due to lack of purpose.
Favourite Comment: “Who do you think you are?!!” and “Think you’re better than me!”
Self Absorbed Factor
obsessions with outward ‘things’ and/or ‘trophy relationships’, that is, of the seems to be to me kind of self-importance.
When asked
: ”what do you want?” They won’t know where to start or be able to say unless its in categories.
Trait Summary
: agitator

Beta Female Social World View:
Family Life: they view their family life liken to their favourite talk shows and soap opera (along with the repeats) on television, that is, life is played out with drama, as there is constant comings and goings, and they love the thrill of “we interrupt this transmission due to…” programs that is sometimes broadcast, because they feel it mirrors their own life’s pace, as somehow they seem to think, that everyone lives (or should live) in that same pattern of lifestyle.

Friendships: declines meaningful friends with other women hence inclined to be a frenemy. She likes to be popular as to have kindred spirits, so everyone will become her alter ego, she hopes. Endings: They harbour ill-will and make you pay indirectly or directly through the legal/social system, then expects your forgiveness. Prone to bitterness against the adolescents, as they’re coming into their looks and who later in years manage to retain their looks (see weblink article: I used to be the one who turned men’s heads, but now it’s my teenage daughter… and it makes me so jealous.)

Their ideal partner:
The Beta Male is someone such as Ken Carson and this is because he is all about appearances (ie. ‘pulse: the new fragrance’ male), otherwise known as the ‘playboy’ for he will always fancy a specific type of female and this mind-set will remain unchanged; they trust a certain type of female being a sure thing, but if a woman changes even slightly, she’ll be dumped without hesitation. For the Beta males are the followers and the social sycophants, they are as likely to follow the relationship trend set by their male friends and family, as they like an easy time of things for limited hassles in life. The Beta males are the reliable, sweet, sensitive guys. Some are even cute and/or cuddly. Beta males are often more reserved however they are prone to sulk. They respect women and are sensitive to their feelings.

Therefore heterosociality men view girlie girls as fun to be around for a good time, whilst she likes to *borrow* other females men as a girly girl thinks he’s a disposal item. She prefers to stand behind him at events. She is loved for her poster-girl smile and general cheerfulness.

Relationship term
: “I hooked/bagged my man.”


Core Feminine Attribute: Action

“Woman is a miracle of divine contradictions”.
(quote by Jules Michelet, French Historian)

LADYBOY : A ladyboy is a woman who when a young girl was a ‘tomboy’, having mellowed when reaching adulthood thus typically they are specious. But still exhibits some characteristics of the gender role of a boy through some of these characteristics: the wearing of typically masculine-oriented types of clothes. The practice of games and activities (often physical in nature) that are typically considered to be the domain of men, as more inclined to like the ‘six-pack stomach’ rather than a rounded stomach that denotes femininity.

Alpha Female Work Ethic traits:

View of Life: Monochrome. (Glass half empty.)
And ’Competitive’ means to out-do anyone or anything to be first, win, and game-over as to get results (position) because they play it with cleverness. Inclined to be a genius. Most likely to do an ‘IQ Mensa’ test.
Symbolised by: a ladder.

Their ideal forum: the private sector workplace
Work category: Career.
Private sector Icon: Anita Roddick
Judged on: Value (monetary bonuses).

Sociological Concern: Saving the environment of the planet.

Competitive Summary: Moralist.

Alpha Female Character Traits:

Positive Aspects:
Disciplined, dedicated, has strong will-power, can handle pressure in their work environment only, and is a soloist - supernumerary complex (being extra).

Negative Aspects:

”The Whingers” = to complain about the same issue constantly to anyone in ear-shot.
They live through other people. Infuriate to start arguments. Likes to humiliate/expose others: being in any kind of relationship with them, they’d make you appear bad to others always. Jealousy can rear up its head quickly over what someone does, tactless; with throwaway comments, challenging as hates authority, likes to be perceived as a victim of circumstances, irrationally associates blame to others, impatient, smug, egotistical, mean-spirited; petty or malicious, contradictional, and any assumed slights will be confrontational; as having the first and last word mentioned thus *giving front* and will exploit any weakness or faults to boost their own self-esteem.

In addition brings up what other people did or didn’t do; purely to out-number by name-dropping, so ending up one-sided and heavily weighed in their favour; they are the mistresses of one upmanship, tendency to use guilt as a social hindrance tactic as being encased as a psychological manipulator. – superfluous complex (insecurity traits).

Psychological Weakness: obsessive disorder – due to lack of security.

Favourite Comment: “Think you know more than me?!” and “I’ll cut you down to size!”

Self Absorbed Factor: me, me, me, me; as selfish to the core therein doesn’t leave room for much else, so as to be self-serving.

When asked: “what do you desire?” They’d have a list to run through, and will have another list on hand too.

Trait Summary: antagonist

Alpha Female Social World View:

Family Life: they view the family life liken to any game show, as they feel its similiar to the reality tv programs, because its only temporarily on their screen once a week, before they move to the adventure/adult channels on cable or satellite station; with a switch of the remote control, thus never show them the BBC Trade Test Transmission, because it can affect their home life; if it remains the same day in and day out without winning the ‘family fortune’ and/or participating in ‘Mr and Mrs’ regularly on the answer of a question.

Friendships: inclined with the preference to befriend men rather than other women hence queen bees. She likes to be well connected, so everyone will know her, at some point or other. Endings: They bear grudges and will turn everyone against you including family and any future friends of yours. Prone to sourness against the very young, as they’ve got their whole life ahead of them.

Their ideal partner:
The Alpha Male is someone such as Mr Big and he is all about personality (ie. the ‘its all worked out beautifully’ male), for he is known as ‘the player’, as he thinks that all women are toys in life, therefore made for his entertainment and likes to be impressed by women before he makes his choice, thus has the peter pan syndrome in relationship terms. He found out about women from his father or uncle, who he emulated when reaching his teens. The Alpha males are the top dog, the most dominant and successful. Also the Alpha male has a strong and overpowering personality however tendency to mood swings. They are the leaders of the pack, the rebels, the bad boys as Alpha males don’t often stick around for very long; as they are known for breaking hearts particularly Beta females.

Thus heterosociality men view ladyboys as being the kind to be adventurous therein exciting to hang about with, meanwhile she thinks *every man* is hers by entitlement; as a ladyboy has no qualms in relationship limitation − they have none. Whilst she prefers to stand in front of him at events. She is loved for her living life to the full and go-getting attitude.

Relationship term: “I picked/chose him out from all the rest.”


Core Feminine Attribute: Mind

“A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking.” (quote by Malcolm de Chazal, Mauritian Writer)

ULTRA GIRL : An ultra girl is a woman with a mature attitude, who when younger was shy but approachable, and didn’t do things to draw attention to herself, she was just noticed. Also there was a time when Alpha-Omega females were once called the fair sex . Her manner of dress would be always to appear stylish and yet functional. The term woman is usually reserved for an adult but the Alpha-Omega females were ahead of their time in mental growth, therefore had a head start on maturity and their feminine natures.

Alpha-Omega Female Work Ethic traits:

View of Life: Spectrum. (Glass is mine.)
As ‘driven’ is a force of achievements that isn’t foreseeable until it happens and reveals itself to others by outcomes. Its to have a just do and will be so mentality, with more coming forth with each move. Plus with emphasis of arriving none the less (power) for they play by intellect. Inclined to be a generalist. Most likely to do a ’Psychometric test’.
Symbolised by: a rain droplet into a pool of water.

Their ideal forum: The home domain.
Work category: M├ętier (job; manual, trade; intellectual, profession; experience, skills).
Home sphere Icon: Eleanor Roosevelt
Judged on: Validation (community awards).

Sociological Concern: the quality of life.

Driven Summary: Pragmatic.

Alpha-Omega Female Character Traits:

Positive Aspects
Offers excellent leadership. Authoritative. Even though brash in attitude (are judged too harshly and shallow by others no matter what background or ethnicity they come from) they’ve a good heart, full of good intentions, and flexible to changes. Principled, amenable, is conative; mentally striving and expressing endeavours, offers criticism as improvements; helpful, has self-control, are multi-taskers; in prioritising, and are facilitators: as they tend to be explainers and informers - supremacy complex.

Negative Aspects: “The Nags” = to ask for something to be done over 25 times in any given period of time.
Possessiveness can manifest at certain times over what they’ve got that no-one else has, cares for or does, parsimonous, ignores others; doesn’t suffer fools gladly whatever the gender or age group, shrewdish, difficult; sheer bloody mindedness as doesn’t like to give in easily, argumentative; they tend to tell you, and if they don’t like something they won’t hold back until they’ve *got it off their chest*, captious and a hector.

Moreover, undermines; by showing how things should be done, blunt and a misanthrope; as in their ironic speech hence invidious. Tends to like their views through rose-tinted glasses; choose words and actions very carefully for snob effect. - supercilious complex (unconfident traits).

Psychological Weakness: clinical depression – due to lack of external control in the environment around them.

Favourite Comment: “Told you so.”

Self Absorbed Factor: inward looking then the ‘whatever’ word used followed by a shrug, as to have self-regard.

When asked: “What do you need?” They’d be very specific and graphic.

Trait Summary: protagonist

Alpha-Omega Female Social World View:

Family Life: they view the family life to be very much like their favourite comedy, documentary and special interest television programs, and that is, because it shows how things can change suddenly but yet brings out things that reflect choices, which can also mask life’s other ups and downs that happens to each member regarding their contribution to the household.

Friendships: inclined with a genderless approach to friendships hence they’d be the crunch mater. She likes to keep close associations, so not everyone can know of her, only through the grapevine or by chance.

Endings: They cut you off completely. Prone to saltiness against the old, as they’ve not much time left.

Their ideal partner:Bold

GAMMA MALE (Manly Man)

The Gamma Male is someone such as James Bond and he is about character, (ie. the ‘because the lady loves milk tray’ male) and is known as the ‘silent type’ for he’ll observe a specific female for awhile as he likes to see her in different social situations before making his move, and when he does he’ll usually stay committed; as most heterosexual dalliances has been done in his youth and he learnt most about how to treat a woman from female relatives, so he brings experience to the relationship. For Gamma males are more laid back, affectionate, but independent and capable on their own. Gamma Males aren’t interested in leadership, but neither are they in being a follower. To all appearances the Gamma male may seem like the Alpha or Beta male, but looking closer at him, he’ll surprise you. He is a startling mixture of raw, sensual cockiness and sweetness, with respectful adoration for women, although he broods, as the Gamma male combines both the best and worst from the separate species of male types of Alpha and Beta.

so which traits are you woman? ;P

Monday, 23 May 2011


hurm.. ni kes tgk criminal minds byk sgt.. and satu hari terdgr bout 'alpha people' in this series.. (kesian kan? lambat..hehe) so aku pn menggunakan kemudahan google utk mencari orang-orang 'alpha'.. so ini yg dijumpai..

the alpha is the individual in the community with the highest rank (, 2009)

huh? err.. so? aku tak phm jgk.. since criminal minds suka sgt mempersoalkan personality of alpha people.. so aku google lagi.. haha (cuba mengaitkan crime ngan alpha people).. selepas tu mula la jmpa beta, gamma, delta, dan omega.. eyh2? byk plak.. huh.. org blaja psychology tahu la kot.. ke aku yg katak bawah tempurung? hurm..

so skang nak ckp psl alpha jer.. yg len crk sendiri.. hehe.. so ni yg aku jumpa..

jom tgk alpha female dulu ;P

Alpha Female Characteristics

Every woman has Alpha Female traits inside of them; some are just better at showing it than others. While most women are passive and wait for or use silent flirting to get men to approach them, the Alpha Female calls all the shots in her world and makes things happen. Inside of the true Alpha Female lies an inner security that is lacking in many other women. So, how do you know if you're dealing with an Alpha Female? Below are the top five Alpha Female characteristics.

1. Independence
The Alpha Female is fiercely independent, can take care of herself and doesn't need a man in her life. She will want to be the one to set up dates and will often tell you she is busy when you ask. She will also insist on paying her part for movie tickets, getting into clubs, and for meals. She doesn't want to be in a position where she feels that she owes you in some way. She does not want to be tied down to any man and won’t rely on you for everything.

2. Assertiveness
The Alpha Female asserts influence and control and won’t be pushed around. She stands up for herself and quickly puts people in their place if they try to disrespect her. The Alpha Female is articulate and speaks with her mouth as well as with her eyes. She is a strong woman who knows what she wants, feels and needs and easily expresses these things. The Alpha Female is used to having men pursue her and give in to her every whim; therefore, she is selective about who she invites into her life and will quickly let you know she's not into you.

3. Confidence
The Alpha Female truly loves herself and is comfortable in her own skin. She loves her body and her brain and she works them out regularly. She knows her own value and sees that she’s beautiful from the inside out. She is playful, yet determined and you will find that an Alpha Female is extremely sure of herself. She won’t settle for less than the absolute BEST in everything from men to her career. She's on top of her dating game and doesn't doubt for a moment that she has the ability to get any man she wants. She gives you a run for your money and doesn't make it easy to pick her up.

4. Sex Appeal
You will find that the Alpha Female isn't always the most beautiful woman out there; however, she always practices making herself look good, knows the hottest parties and gets into every club without waiting. She flirts with you and moves her body in ways that make you think of sex. She's a fashion leader who is able to wear a varied wardrobe with elegance, flair and style. She doesn't blend in with the crowd and you immediately know when she walks in the room because of her charisma and dynamic presence.

5. Ambition
The Alpha Female is actively pursuing dreams or goals and is not concerned with a man making enough money to provide for her. She manages to rise to the top in her career because of her style and intellect and is not afraid to use, and sometimes, exploit her femininity to get her way with men or seal business deals. Simply put, she is a woman who is completely in control of her destiny.

so.. bacer2.. aku terpikir.. wujud eyh girl like this? (mula memikirkan gadis2.. wanita2 yg pernah aku jumpa dlm hidup..) pikir2... ader!! hehe.. guess who? haha.. ok2.. aku xley deny kot.. walaupun menyampah dulu2 kat die (well.. dier yg jeles dulu sbb i lg cute dr dier.. sorry doc.. haha) she's hot.. i mean.. duuhh... yang deny mesti jeles ni.. haha..
okey2.. enuf with that.. hurm so this is alpha man.. check it out gurlz:>>

Never Qualifies Himself: The alpha male makes no apologies, he doesn’t explain his behavior. he is completely comfortable in his own skin so he doesn’t need to. They don’t boast about their success or try and prove anything – again they don’t need to; they assume you will like them simply because other people do, but they don’t care if you don’t – they won’t chase after you for your validation, they don’t care.

Talks Slow
: Notice when you talk to someone you look up to you will talk faster – Talking fast is a way to qualify yourself to someone – essentially you are scared they will stop listening or find some more interesting stimulous, so you get your point out quick so they will listen – it actually has the opposite effect, and it shows your lower status.

Doesn’t Look Around
: He is the party and the focus of attention – he is unconcerned with what other people are doing.

Is The Focus of Attention
: He is centrally positioned in the group, everyones body language faces him and is positive towards him – you can tell the alpha male of the group just by looking at them. Expect to be the focus and position yourself to be so, step up within your group and you will start to take on this dominant role.

Take The Glory: When you tell a funny joke they take it one further and steal the laugh, when you do something cool they congratualte you for it and give you their approval. When you have an idea they acknowledge it and add to it – giving their approval and tweaking the idea it becomes their own, and they get the credit for it.

Are Never Impressed: They can be self centered and unimpressed with the achievements of others. They are high achievers themselves and strive for success so they have seen it all before – it takes a lot, or a really high value to impress them – they have high standards on every level.

Enjoy a Challenge
: They enjoy making friends with beta males, but with another alpha guy they often become “enemies”. The alpha male needs to be the alpha at all times and will compete with another male for the dominant position – if he is really the alpha male he will enjoy this opportunity.

Don’t Answer Questions
: They often give a non-sensical or a basic response to questions you ask them where you are trying for conversation, trying to find common ground, or trying for report – by asking you to “guess” they are controling the frame and leading the interaction and keeping their alpha male status.

Don’t Care About You
: they are self focused, you are there to entertain them, but they are above you – he believes world evolves around him and everyone is there to help him, entertain him or sleep with him – as he chooses.

Can Show A Nicer Side and Get Away With It
: This goes back to not caring what people think. he can be nice / genuine / down to earth if he wants to and on the occasions that he is he gets even more credit for it – he isn’t a geek trying to be nice for validation, he is a cool guy who has a down to earth side sometimes.

Is Comfortable In His Own Skin
: Ultimately he is comfortable within his own skin, this is one of the the main alpha male characteristics, and if you can be comfortable in your own skin then everything else will follow. He doesn’t care what people think, he is assertive enough to give his own opinion, and he is happy and confident in any situation.

so aku dapat kesimpulan kenapa aku single lagi (tetiba?) hehe.. sebab aku slalu ter'crush' kat alpha male.. dang... i shud chase for 'beta' male.. a lot easier.. haha...

tetiba tertgk dating tips.. (jgn salah paham yer.. sy masih tidak suker dating2 + couple2 thingy ni) bley tgk ni.. u dun need to be alpha female btw.. u just need to know how to handle this type of guy.. wink.. haha

allowed urself to receive? that's the hardest thing to do.. terasa cam humiliate diri sendiri plak.. hehe.. sorry.. sayer mmg ego.. blueek! (teringat zaman2 tdk matang melayan kluar2 dating ni)

Sunday, 15 May 2011


Dikala hatiku masih berbolak balik,
Bisikan dan hasutan syaitan silih berganti,
Ku kuatkan semangat melawan semampu mungkin,
Aaargh, lemahnya diriku kerna sering tertewas!

Kerapuhan hati kian meningkat,
Dek kerana titik hitam yang menyelinap dan bersembuyi dihatiku,
Terasa begitu sakit dan pedih apabila virus kian merebak merosakkan hati ini,
Sungguh sukar untukku mendapatkan penawarnya,

Sesungguhnya, menjagamu amat sukar bagiku,
Ku tetapkan hati ,
Hati ini mesti dilindungi dan dikasihi,
Tidak tegar untukku menzalimi hati yang diciptakan suci dan bersih,

Ku mengorak 1001 langkah yang membawa hati ini dekat kepadaNya,
Agar sentiasa terpelihara,
Kerna, terlalu lemah untukku memeliharanya,

Ya Allah,
Sesungguhnya aku mengerti ,
Hati ini hanya untukMu,

Ya Allah,
Hanya padaMula aku berserah,
Hanya padaMu, selayak-layaknya hati ini kembali ,
Janganlah Engkau membiarkan hati ini dizalimi,
Ya Allah kepadaMu aku bersandar agar hati ini sentiasa di bawah lindungan dan rahmatMu

Hati | + discover the beauty of islam

Wednesday, 11 May 2011

i stalk your profile when i'm missing you

amazing voice! love her husky voice! u go girl!!!! =]

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

kerana jodoh itu di tangan-Nya

“Allah has already written the names of your spouses for you. What you need to work on is your relationship with Allah. He will send her/him to you when you’re ready. It is only a matter of time.”
— Sheikh Mamdouh

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

Aku berlindung dengan Allah dari syaitan dan politik

..kuasa politik itu kadang-kala satu kegilaan..bermatian insan kerananya..insan sanggup melakukan apa sahaja krn kuasa dan takhta..ketagihan apakah itu? mgkin mrk terasa nikmat sebagai org besar..padahal betapa ramai dalam kalangan mereka yg gila dan hilang bahagia..jika mereka tahu, keindahan dunia ini adalah dalam akidah yg tulus, jiwa yg khusyuk dan di malam yang sunyi memanggil nama ilahi..

..saya rasa inilah peluang DSAI mematahkan hujah musuh2nya..jika mereka mahu sangat dia bersumpah, apa salahnya beliau sebut dalam ceramah2nya yg panjang2 itu "wallahi, wa billahi wa tallahi" itu dusta, bukan saya..mereka akan terdiam, rakyat bertambah yakin, atau jika mereka bising pun, rakyat akan simpati..mengapa tidak?

..parti dan kumpulan yang melahir pengikut yang suka mencerca dan memaki hamun orang lain adalah tanda jauhnya parti atau kumpulan tersebut dari hidayah Allah..sekalipun mereka cuba mengaitkan diri dgn agama..setiap kali ditegur mereka akan menuding jari kpd org lain..seakan hanya orang lain sahaja yg dihisab di akhirat kelak..mereka tidak..


couldn't be more agree than this..

Tuesday, 3 May 2011

petang yg luar biasa

orang tua itu kelihatan biasa.. dia menuturkan kata-kata yang tidak ku fahami.. tiba-tiba.. dia memandangku.. matanya jernih.. tenang air mukanya..

'nak.. ingat selalu ya nak.. ingat tuhan yang satu.. ingat.. simpan dalam2 di hati kita!'

aku hanya senyum.. mengangguk.. kurang menumpu perhatian..
mungkin kerna melihatnya berbicara tanpa henti.. orang tua itu meneruskan perbualannya dengan orang lain.. sebelum beredar.. dia memandang aku lagi.. lantas berjalan perlahan-lahan ke arahku..

'nak.. ingat selalu ya nak.. ingat tuhan yang satu.. ingat.. simpan dalam2 di hati kita!'

aku senyum lg.. mengangguk lagi.. 'insyaallah nek'.. masih memberi reaksi yang sama.. mungkin tidak berpuas hati dengan reaksiku.. dia menggenggam kedua-dua tanganku.. matanya menatap mataku.. tajam.. ada penegasan di situ..

'ingat Allah nak.. ingat Tuhan yang satu.. jangan pernah lupa.. kalau kau senang ke nak.. susah.. ingat tuhan! Allah tu sentiasa dekat dengan kita.. jangan sesekali kau lupa pada DIA!'

aku terpana.. ayat itu langsung menyentap jantungku..

'kejadianmu elok.. akalmu elok.. maka jangan kau lupa pada TuhanMU!'

melihat aku kaku begitu.. terkesima.. orang tua ini asing sungguh bagiku.. otak aku ligat berpusing.. aneh dengan nenek ini.. dia memegang bahuku...

'jangan kau lupa asal usulmu ye nak.. ingat pada orang tuamu.. ingat jasa mereka.. berbakti pada mereka.. doakan mereka selalu.. kalau kau jauh.. kau doakan mereka selalu!'

air mataku bergenang.. sayu.. diam ku kaku..

'tolong orang ye nak.. jangan lupa tolong orang.. ikhlas... hati kena ikhlas.. takper susah sikit.. tapi biar Allah redha dengan kita... jangan sombong.. jangan pedulikan apa orang kata.. yang penting kita tahu niat kita.. niat kita hanya kerana Allah... ikhlas.. ikhlas.. ikhlas..!'

aku rasa hatiku seperti dicarik-carik.. ayatnya tepat memanah ke jantung.. air mukaku merona merah.. menahan sebak.. nenek itu diam juga akhirnya.. menatap mataku.. tangannya masih di bahu ku..

'insyaallah nek.. insyaallah..' aku tak tahu lagi mahu berkata apa.. terkesima..

'mak.. balik mak... ooo mak!'

seorang wanita 40an memanggil orang tua itu.. dia mengambil tangan ibunya dari bahuku..

'maafla yer.. mak ni mmg byk ceramah sikit.. sebab tu cucu-cucu dier malas nak jaga dier'

'eyh takpe cik..'

'balik dulu la yer.. dah nak maghrib..'

wanita itu menarik nenek itu.. kelihatan tidak suka ibunya berkelakuan begitu.. nenek itu memandang aku lagi.. senyum.. sebelum menaiki kereta anaknya..

'ingat ye nak'

meninggalkan aku yang terpinga-pinga.. aku senyum.. hurm.. petang yang luar biasa.. mata itu.. jernih.. tenang.. indah..

bermonolog sendiri... 'insyaallah nek.. saya tak mungkin lupa..'