adakah sunat berpuasa pada 1 Rejab?

credit to this link http://pbasmkps.blogspot.com/2011/06/adakah-sunnah-berpuasa-pada-1-rejab.html


AbuAqil

Hari ini hari Jumaat jatuh pada tanggal 1 Rejab 1432H bersamaan 3 Jun 2011. Bulan Rejab merupakan bulan ke-7 kalendar Hijriyah. Ketibaan bulan Rejab ini menandakan 2 bulan lagi bulan yang penuh keberkatan, Ramadan akan menemui kita jika diizinkan oleh Allah.

Pada bulan ini juga ramai orang Islam berpuasa sunat. Amalan mulia ini menepati sunnah Nabi kerana anjuran nabi saw agar berpuasa pada bulan-bulan haram iaitu bulan ZulKaedah, Zulhijjah, Muharram dan Rejab.

Namun adakah terdapat keutamaan khas puasa Bulan Rejab seperti puasa pada 1 Rejab sebagaimana yang dilakukan oleh segelintir orang Islam pada hari ini?. Apatah lagi puasa pada hari Jumaat dilarang oleh Nabi saw :

Daripada Abi Hurairah r.a, daripada Nabi s.a.w, baginda bersabda: “Jangan kamu mengkhususkan malam Jumaat dengan solat yang berbeza dengan malam-malam yang lain. Jangan kamu mengkhususkan hari Jumaat dengan puasa yang berbeza dengan hari-hari yang lain, kecuali ia dalam (bilangan hari) puasa yang seseorang kamu berpuasa). (Riwayat Muslim)

Orang kita memang terkenal rajin beribadat. Namun satu sikap yang tidak wajar ialah dengar sahaja orang cakap kena buat sesuatu amalan, maka mereka terus mengamalkannya tanpa selidik adakah amalan itu berasaskan amalan Rasulullah saw atau rekaan semata-mata atau berasaskan dalil palsu atau lemah.

Sikap yang sepatutnya ada pada setiap muslim ialah bertanya adakah amalan ini dari Rasul saw? Ada dalil sahihkah amalan tersebut? Adakah hadis itu sahih? Begitulah sikap yang ditunjukkan oleh para sahabat dalam mengamalkan sesuatu amalan.

Sebarang ibadat khas tidak boleh sekali-kali dilakukan melainkan ia diamalkan dan diperintah oleh Rasulullah saw. Ini untuk mengelakkan daripada amalan yang dilakukan menjadi sia-sia. Sabda Nabi saw :

Barangsiapa yang melakukan amalan yang bukan dari perintah kami maka ia(amalan) itu tertolak ( Imam Muslim)

Tiada nas sahih mengenai kelebihan khas puasa bulan Rejab termasuk puasa pada 1 Rejab. Kebanyakan hadis kelebihan Rejab bertaraf da’if dan palsu.

Disini nyatakan pandangan para ulama’ mengenai kesahihan fadilat Rejab.

1. Sheikh Atiyah Al-Saqr.

a. Kebanyakkan fadilat Rejab terkandung didalam Hadis yg sangat Lemah dan Palsu.

Bekas Ketua Lujnah Fatwa Al-Azhar mengatakan bahawa setiap fadilat sesuatu perkara itu harus dilihat dari segi nas yg sahih dan beliau melihat bahawa hadis-hadis yg didatangkan mengenai fadilat didalam bulan Rejab kebanyakkannya adalah lemah dan palsu, katanya:

“Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala memberi fadilat kepada beberapa bulan dan tempat, tetapi tidak thabit untuk masa (zaman) dan untuk tempat melainkan dengan dalil yg qath’i (nyata) dan tidak thabit sehingga tidak mendusta keatas Nabi Muhammad saw, dan banyak hadis-hadis timbul mengenai fadilat bulan Rejab, dimana statusnya antara Dha’if dan Mawdhu’, dan tidak thabit dari pembawanya (naqal).”

Menurut Al-Saqr lagi bahawa:

“Al-Hafiz Ahmad bin Ali bin Mohammad bin Hajar Asqalaani meletakkan didalam risalahnya dengan topiknya : Penjelasan yg datang didalam Fadilat Rejab, pengumpulan jumhur Hadis menyebut mengenai Fadilat-Fadilat Rejab, Puasa dan Solat didalamnya. Ia dikelaskan sebagai Lemah dan Mawdhu”

b. Fadilat Rejab berada bersama dengan Fadilat bulan-bulan haram yg lain.

Fadilat Rejab secara umumnya berada didalam Fadilat bulan-bulan Haram sebagaimana Firman Allah didalam surah Taubah:36 dan terdapat juga Hadis Sahihin mengenai Hijatul Wada’, didalamnya dinyatakan nama bulan bulan tersebut, iaitu : Zulkaedah, Zulhijjah dan Muharram, dan yg tunggal ialah Rejab. Dimasa itu orang Islam ditegah melakukan kezaliman, pep! ! ! erangan dan juga dilarang melakukan maksiat kepada Allah swt.

c. Berpuasa hari pertama atau yg lain sama sahaja fadilatnya.

Berkata Al-Saqr lagi bahawa:

“Amalan Saleh didalam bulan Rejab adalah sebagaimana ganjarannya didalam bulan-bulan Haram, yg didalamnya terdapat puasa, SAMA sahaja [berpuasa] hari pertama atau pun hari akhir. Berkata Ibnu Hajar : ‘Sesungguhnya bagi bulan Rejab tidak terdapatnya hadis mengenai fadilat khas berpuasa, tidak terdapat yg Sahih atau Hasan’. “

Beliau memetik beberapa hadis da’if dan palsu, diantaranya ialah:

i.“Sesungguhnya didalam syurga ada sebuah sungai yg dipanggil Rejab, warna airnya sangat putih dari susu, manisnya lebih manis dari madu, barangsiapa yg berpuasa sati hari dari bulan Rejab, maka Allah akan memberi ia minum dari sungai itu” – hadis ini Dha’if.

ii.“Barangsiapa berpuasa sehari didalam bulan Rejab seolah-olah dia berpuasa satu bulan, dan siapa yg berpuasa didalamnya 7 hari maka akan ditutup 7 pintu-pintu neraka, dan barangsiapa yg berpuasa 8 hari maka 8 pintu-pintu syurga akan terbuka, dan barangsiapa yg berpuasa 10 hari, maka akan digantikan dosa dengan kebaikan” – hadis ini Dha'if.

iii. Terdapat sebuah hadis yg panjang mengandungi fadilat berpuasa rejab menurut hari, dan didalamnya terkandung matan :
:”Rejab bulan Allah. Sya’ban bulanku dan Ramadhan bulan umatku” – Hadis ini palsu.

d. Tidak ada solat khas didalam Rejab.

Daripada Hadis yg tidak diterima (ghair maqbulah) mengenai solat :

“Barangsiapa yg solat Magrib di awal malam dari bulan Rejab, kemudian diikuti oleh solat 20 rakaat selepasnya, dia membaca pada setiap rakaat Al-Fatihah dan Qulhu Allahu Ahad sekali dan dia memberi salam kepadanya 10 kali salam, Allah akan menjaga dirinya, keluarganya, hartanya dan anaknya, dan akan diselamatkan dari azab kubur, dan perjalanan di sirat bagaikan boraq, tanpa hisab dan azab.” – Itu adalah hadis Mawdhu’

e. Menziarah kubur pada bulan Rejab tiada nasnya:

Mengenai fadilat menziarah kubur pada bulan Rejab, Sheikh Atiyah Al-Saqr mengatakan bahawa perbuatan ini tidak ada dalilnya didalam Islam. Beliau menyarankan agar lebih elok melihat mengenai sejarah-sejarah yg berlaku dibulan Rejab dan mengambil tauladan daripadanya.

“Ini adalah manusia yg prihatin, dan wanita dari kumpulan tertentu, mereka menziarahi kubur pada hari Jumaat pertama didalam bulanRejab, tidaklah ada asalnya didalam agama, dan ganjaran yg besar daripada ziarah tersebut, dan bukanlah hari ini. Adalah lebih aula didalam bulan Rejab ini kita mengingati kembali sejarah yg berlaku kepadanya seperti penaklukan Tabuk, mngingati Salahuddin Al-Ayobi menyelamatkan Jerusalem (Al-Qudus) dari tangan tentera Salib (Rejab 583H, 1187M). Orang Arab dan Islam menyucikan Masjid Al-Aqsa dari Ketua Pasukan Pakatan. Kita mengingatkan kembali peristiwa Isra’ dan Mi’raj iaitu pengajaran darinya, dimana orang Islam menganggapnya berlaku didalam bulan Rejab. Allah yg Maha Mengetahui.”

2] Sheikh Dr Yusuf Al-Qardhawi

a. Fadilat Rejab sama dengan fadilat bulan-bulan haram yg lain

Dr. Yusuf Al-Qardhawi mengatakan bahawa fadilat Rejab adalah sama seperti yg terdapat didalam 3 bulan-bulan Haram yg lain. Katanya [4]:

“tidaklah ada kesahihan didalam bulan Rejab, melainkan ia merupakan salah satu dari bulan-bulan haram, bahawa Allah swt telah menyebut didalam kitabnya – didalamnya ada 4 bulan haram – Al-Taubah:36. Iaitu Rejab, Zulqaedah, Zulhijah dan Muharram….Itulah bulan-bulan yg mempunyai fadilat. Tidak terdapat Hadis Sahih bahawa Rejab khusus mengatakan Rejab lebih afdal, melainkan Hadis Hasan: Sesungguhnya Nabi saw banyak berpuasa didalam Sya’ban..”

b. Hadis-Hadis mengenai fadilat Rejab kebanyakkannya lemah dan palsu.

Beliau juga menyatakan bahawa hadis-hadis mengenai fadilat-fadilat khas Rejab kebanyakkan merupakan Hadis Palsu atau pun yg sangat Lemah tarafnya:

“Hadis ini dimaklumkan sebagai sebuah hadis yg mengandungi fadilat Rejab – “Rejab bulan Allah. Sya’ban bulanku dan Ramadhan bulan umatku”….. Hadis in mungkar dan sangat-sangat Dhaif, bahkan beberapa ulama’ mengatakan hadis ini Palsu! …. yakni penipu..Maka bukanlah kepadanya nilai saintifik dan bukanlah mempunyai nilai agama. Disitu ada hadis yg mengatakan terdapat Fadilat Rejab kepada sesiapa yg bersolat begini dan ia mendapat begini, dan sesiapa yg meminta beristigfar sekali kepadanya maka ia akan mendapat ganjaran begini…. Ini semua adalah berlebih-lebihan (exaggeration), dan semuanya adalah pembohongan. Dari ini satu tanda satu penipuan didalam Hadis yg memasukkan perkara yg berlebih-lebihan….”

c. Ganjaran yg dijanjikan tidak sepadan dengan amalannya.

Pada beliau ganjaran-ganjaran yg dinyatakan didalam Hadis Palsu itu adalah sesuatu yg berlebih-lebihan. Ini merupakan satu pendustaan yg amat besar. Menurut beliau ganjaran sesuatu ibadat itu mestilah setimpal dengan bentuk ibadat itu sendiri. Katanya :

“Berkata ulama’ : Janji untuk mendapatkan ganjaran yg besar diatas perkara yg biasa, atau ugutan kepada azab yg pedih keatas dosa kecil? Ia menunjukkan bahawa ini merupakan Hadis yg bohong.”

d. Umat Islam perlu mengetahui jenis-jenis hadis yg Palsu

Dr Yusuf Qardhawi menyatakan bahawa sebagai seorang Islam kita wajib mengetahui mengenai hadis yg diberikan kepada kita. Tidak ada alasan yg boleh kita berikan kerana terdapatnya buku-buku yg banyak dipasaran mengenai taraf sesuatu hadis. Kata beliau :

“Ulama’ telah memberi amaran contohnya keatas Hadis Palsu dan Bohong ini, dan melarang manusia terhadapnya…sesungguhnya telah datang hadis :”Barangsiapa mereka-reka Hadis difikirkan, sesungguhnya ia menipu, maka dia adalah pembohong…..”(Riwayat Muslim didalam muqadimahnya yg Sahih), tetapi mereka tidak mengetahui bahawa ia adalah Hadis Palsu, maka ia wajib mengetahui, mengetahui hadis itu dari sumbernya …. maka disana ada Kitab Hadis yg Muktamad, di sana ada kitab khas untuk mengetahui Hadis Palsu, contoh Al-Maqasid Al-Hasanah, karangan Al-Shakhaawi.”

3] Dr. Sayid Saabiq

Menurut seorang tokoh Ikhwan Dr Sayid Saabiq didalam membicarakan bab puasa sunat, mengatakan bahawa :

“Puasa Rejab, bukanlah ada padanya fadilat yg berlebih dari bulan-bulan lain, melainkan sesungguhnya ia dari bulan-bulan yg haram”.

Ini bermaksud bahawa bulan-bulan haram ini mempunyai fadilat-fadilat yg sama. Pendapat juga di sokong oleh mazhab Hanbali yg mengatakan menetapkan bulan Rejab sahaja untuk berpuasa sunat adalah makruh.

Dibawah ini disenaraikan beberapa contoh hadis-hadis palsu berkenaan dengan fadilat Rejab:[7]

a. Barang siapa yg mengerjakan solat Magrib pada permulaan malam Rejab kemudian dia mengerjakan 20 rakaat dengan membaca surah Al-Fatihah dan Qul Hu Allahhu Ahad pada tiap-tiap rakaat satu kali dan dia memberi salampada solat ini dengan 10 salam, maka tahukah kamu apa ganjaranya?
-Hadis ini Mawdhu’ (palsu)

*Diriwayatkan oleh Al-Jauzaqanniy dari Anas, kemudian beliau berkata hadis ini adalah Palsu.

b. Barang siapa yg melakukan solat pada malam Nisfi Rejab 14 rakaat dengan membaca Alhamdu 1 kali pada rakaat, Qul Hu Allahhu Ahad 20 kali, Qul A’uuzu Birabbil Falaq 3 kali, Qul A’uuzu Birabbin Nas 3 kali kemudian apabila dia selesai bersolat hendaklah ia berselawat keatas ku 10 kali kemudian dia bertasbih, bertahmid dan bertahlil 30 kali, maka Allah akan mengutuskan kepadanya 1000 malaikat.

-Hadis ini Mawdhu’ (palsu)
*Dalam sanadnya terdapat beberapi Rawi yang majhul.

c. Barang siapa yg berpuasa sehari pada bulan Rejab (ganjarannya) sama dengan puasa sebulan.

-Hadis sangat Dhaif.

*Diriwayatkan oleh Al-Khathiib dari Abi Dzar.
*Dalam sanadnya ada rawi yg bernama: Al-Furaat bin As-Saaib, dia adalah seorang rawi yg Matruk.
*Ibnu Hajar Al-Asqalaaniy telah menjelaskan bahawa para ahli hadis telah sepakat, bahawa hadis ini diriwayatkan dari jalan Al-Furaat bin As-Saaib, sedangkan rawi ini adalah seorang yg Dhaif.

d. Barang siapa yg berpuasa 3 hari pada bulan Rejab, dituliskan baginya ganjaran puasa satu bulan dan barang siapa yg berpuasa 7 hari pada bulan Rejab maka Allah tutupkan daripadanya 7 pintu-pintu api neraka. Dan barangsiapa yg berpuasa 8 hari pada bulan Rejab maka Allah membuka baginya 8 buah pintu dari pintu-pintu syurga, dan barang siapa yg berputus asa separuh dari bulan Rejab maka dia akan di hisab dengan hisab yg mudah.

-Hadis ini Mawdhu’ (palsu)
*Tidak disahkan hadis ini kerana rawi yg bernama Abaan merupakan rawi yg Matruk.
*Selain dari itu ada rawi yg bernama Amar bin Al-Azhar yg sangat suka memalsukan hadis.

e. Barang siapa yg berpuasa satu hari pada bulan Rejab dan bangun pada malam harinya mengerjakan solat malam maka Allah akan membangkitkan dia pada hari Kiamat dalam keadaan aman, dan dia berjalan di atas sirat dalam keadaan Tahlil dan Takbir.

-Hadis ini Mawdhu’ (palsu)
*Dalam sanadnya ada rawi yg bernama Ismaail, dia adalah seorang rawi yg suka berdusta.

f. Barang siapa yg menghidupkan satu malam dari bulan Rejab mengerjakan solat malam dan berpuasa padanya satu hari, maka Allah memberi makan kepadanya dari buah-buahan Syurga.

-Hadis ini Mawdhu’ (palsu) *Dalam Kitab Al-Laaly dijelaskan bahawa hadis ini diriwayatkan oleh Hussain bin Ali. Kemudian diterangkan bahawa hadis ini Mawdhu’.

Bagaimana beramal pada dalam bulan ini?

a. Shiekh Mahmud Al-Sya’rawi didalam menjawab satu pertanyaan mengenai apakan bulan dari bulan-bulan ‘am yg afdal manusia berpuasa selepas bulan Ramadan, beliau memetik hadis berikut diriwayatkan oleh Musnad Ahmad :

“Seorang lelaki telah bertanya Rasulullah saw, katanya : Bulan mana kamu perintahkanku berpuasa selepas Ramadan? Maka Rasulullah saw berkata : Jika aku berpuasa selepas Ramadan, maka berpuasalah dibulan Haram, maka sesungguhnya didalamnya dari Taubat Allah swt keatas satu kaum, dan terdapat taubat didalamnya untuk satu kaum yg lain”

Jelas disini menunjukkan bulan-bulan haram ini disunatkan berpuasa dan juga terdapatnya keampunan Allah swt didalam bulan-bulan ini.

b. Bekas Mufti besar Arab Saudi, Shiekh Abdul Aziz Bin Baaz apabila ditanya berpuasa pada bulan-bulan haram, Beliau menjawab :

“Bulan Muharam dari segi syara’ dibolehkan berpuasa dengannya dan begitu juga Sya’ban, disana terdapatnya 10 Zulhijjah, bukanlah ada dalil disan keatasnya, akan tetapi berpuasa dengannya TANPA ber’itiqad yg khusus (khas) atau pribadi, maka tidaklah menjadi masalah.”

Bagi bulan Allah Al-Haram tersebut, Rasulullah saw pernah bersabda : ((Seafdal-adfal berpuasa selepas ramadan ialah dibulan Allah Al-Haram)). Maka adalah baik bagi berpuasa, atau berpuasalah pada 9, 10 dan 11, itulah yg baik, begitu juga dengan Sya’ban dimana Nabi saw berpuasa dengannya”

c. Seorang Ulama’ Islam dari negara Syria yg terkenal pada masa kini, Dr Wahbah Zuhaily mengatakan bahawa, kebanyakkan iman empat mazhab (Syafiie, Hanbali, Maliki dan Hanafi) bersetuju mengenai terdapatnya amalan berpuasa sunat didalam bulan-bulan haram ini, cuma ia berbeza pendapat mengenai cara implementasinya. kata Dr Wahbah Zuhaily :

“Keutamaan berpuasa pada bulan-bulan ini terdapat disisi Mazhab Maliki dan Syafiie, dan mazhab Hanbali berpuas hati dengan keputusan sendirinya memberi keutamaan berpuasa dibulan Haram, pada mereka itulah puasa yg afdal selepas Ramadan, telah bersabda Rasulullah saw : ((Seafdal solat ialah pertengahan malam, dan seafdal puasa selepas bulan Ramadan ialah di bulan Allah Al-Haram)). Seadal puada dibulan haram ialah Hari Al-Asyura’, sebagaimana diantaranya. Dan berkata mazhab Hanafiah : Sunat berpuasa didalam bulan-bulan Haram, iaitu berpuasa 3 hari dari semuanya iaitu :- Hari Khamis, Jumaat dan Sabtu.”

d. Shiekh Abdul Rahman Al-Jaziry didalam buku Kitab Fikh Empat Mazhab juga memetik persetujuan
4 mazhab ini mengenai puasadibulan-bulan haram, kata nya:
“Mengenai sunat berpuasa dibulan Rejab dan Sya’ban, Imam-imam ini telah bersetuju dengannya, cuma terdapat khilaf dengan hanbali………

Hanbali : Menetapkan puasa Rejab (secara tunggal) adalah makruh, melainkan jika ia berbuka (tidak berpuasa) secara selang-seli, maka tidaklah Makruh.”

e. Panelis fatwa IslamOnline, Shiekh Dr Yusuf Al-Qaradhawi, ketika diminta memberi fatwa mengenai apakah berpuasa didalam bulan Rejab itu sunat atau bid’ah, beliau telah menjawab :

“Berpuasa didalam bulan adalah maqbul dan mustahab, keatas semua perkara. Tetapi bukanlah datang dari Rasulullah saw bahawa beliau berpuasa satu bulan penuh, melainkan bulan Ramadhan. Beliau banyak berpuasa didalam bulan Sya’ban, tetapi tidak berpuasa sepenuhnya, dan itulah sunnah nabawiyyah … Beliau berpuasa dan berbuka disetiap bulan, seperti riwayat mengatakan : ((Beliau berpuasa sehingga kami mengatakan beliau tidak berbuka, Beliau berbuka sehingga kami mengatakan beliau tidak berpuasa)) (Riwayat Bukhari, Muslim dan Abu Daud). Maka beberapa golongan manusia berpuasa seluruh bulan Rejab, sebagaimana yg kita lihat sebelum ini, Aku telah lihat beberapa orang berpuasa bulan Rejab, Sya’ban, Ramadhan dan 6 hari didalam bulan Syawal, dan menamakannya “Al-Ayam Al-Baidh”, selepas berbuka, mereka a! ! ! kan menjadi perayaan pada hari yg ke 8 dari Syawal….Hasil dari puasa ini ialah 3 bulan dan 6 hari saling berhubungan, mereka hanya akan berbuka apabila tiba Hari A’id. INI TIDAK DATANG DARI NABI SAW, atau pun dari para sahabat atau pun dari Al-Salaf Al-Saleh.. maka mereka berpuasa sehari dan berbuka sehari. Tidak ada berterusan didalam puasa. Semua kebaikan adalah menurut Salaf dan keburukan adalah dari rekaan para Khalaf. Barangsiapa yg ingin ber’iitiba’ dan inginkan ganjaran, maka ia harus mengikur Nabi saw dimana tidak berpuasa sepenuhnya didalam Rejab, dan tidak berpuasa sepenuhnya didalam Sya’ban. Dan ini adalah yg lebih utama. Wa Billahi Tawfiq.”

Beliau tegas mengatakan bahawasanya disunatkan berpuasa pada bulan-bulan haram, tetapi tidak lah sepenuh bulan Rejab dan Sya’ban, kerana ini tidak dilakukan oleh Rasulullah saw, atau sahabat-sahabatnya ataupun para ulama’ Salaf.

Kesimpulan :

Tiada keistimewaan khas puasa di bulan Rajab kecuali jika berpuasanya kerana bulan Rajab adalah salah satu daripada bulan-bulan haram. Malah tidak ada keistimewaan khas bulan Rajab dari bulan haram lainnya. Yang tercela sekali adalah jika puasanya sebulan penuh di bulan Rajab sama halnya dengan bulan Ramadan atau menganggap puasa bulan Rajab lebih istimewa dari bulan lainnya. Juga tidak ada pengkhususan berpuasa pada hari tertentu atau tanggal tertentu di bulan Rajab termasuk puasa pada 1 Rajab sebagaimana yang diyakini oleh sesetengah golongan.

Sekiranya anda memang sentiasa berpuasa pada hari Isnin dan Khamis, puasa Nabi Daud atau puasa ayyamul biid (13,14,15 hb), maka teruskan berpuasa pada bulan Rajab. Semoga Allah membimbing kita semua melakukan ibadat mengikut petunjuk junjungan besar Nabi Muhammad saw.

Wallahu Ta’ala A’lam

sayer benci tanam anggur lama2

sayer sedey

hati sudah bengkak
huwaa!


mode jangan kaco

3 Definitions of Female Types & Traits in society

STRONG WOMAN = a woman with a sense of self-possession, who is a matriarch & assured in her womanhood.

okey.. dah terminat plak baca mende2 ni... nak amik psychology la plak as my second degree.. bley? hehe

this article is from http://mdm35.wordpress.com.. enjoy! am not sure is there any delta, omega or gamma woman.. let me finish all the article then am gonna post it later

SOCIETY SOCIAL IMAGINARY:
The definition of ‘social imaginary’ is referring to a part of society, or some other type of entity. These ‘imaginaries’ are usually understood to be constructs and in this sense are contingent on the imagination of social subjects.

Beta women: Dependancy – deemed lazy (in mind) and easy (in body), only costing men money. Whilst she looks at the cost of the relationship being solely: Yours.
Sociological Expectation: Security.

Alpha women: Independent - viewed as being too high-maintenance, as they cost men time and money. Whereas, she looks at the financial relationship as a bartered one: $£€¥¢¤.
Sociological Expectation: Attachment.

Alpha-Omega women: Interdependency - suspected of being too much like hard work, the ‘cost-benefit analysis‘ female otherwise going by the acronym of a ‘CBA’ woman. Whereupon, she looks at the investment within the relationship as assets: Ours.
Sociological Expectation: Conduct.

NOTE:
This sociology theory does not take into account MISANDRY; hatred of men by women, MISOGYNY; hatred of women by men, and MISOGENDER; hatred of own gender.

Nor the notion of Beta women pretending to like men, Alpha women suffering from penis envy towards men, and Alpha-Omega women thinking of men contrary-wise to her circumstance.

Social science theory:
The three female types along with the statistical figure of their ideal male partner types to be found in society (Q.E.D) are:

Beta females: 50% ≠ Beta males: 40%
Alpha females: 30% ≠ Alpha males: 20%
Alpha-Omega females: 20% ≠ Gamma males: 40%

********************

THE THREE DEFINITIONS OF FEMALES

FEMALE TYPE: BETA
“The great and almost only comfort about being a woman is that one can always pretend to be more stupid than one is and no one is surprised.” (quote by Freya Stark, Author)

GIRLY GIRLY : or Girly girl, alternatively spelt Girlie girl, is a slang term for a girl or woman who chooses to dress and behave in an extremely traditional feminine style to convey this, such as wearing floral dresses, blouses and skirts, and talking about relationships and other activities which are associated with the traditional gender role of a girl and acting in a forever youthful persona.

Beta Female Work Ethic traits:

View of Life: Contrast. (Glass half full.)
For ‘ambition’ equates to reaching at the top never to consider a bottom as to vacillate (status) and they play it smart. Inclined to be a polymath. Most likely to do an either/or ‘Polls’ test.
Symbolised by: a trophy cup.

Their ideal forum: the public sector workplace.
Work category: Vocation.
Public sector Icon: Betty Boothroyd
Judged on: Merit (promotions).
Sociological Concern: utilising the world resources.
Ambitious Summary: Holier than thou.

Beta Female Character Traits:

Positive Aspects:
Discerning, focused, have self-awareness, proficient and are teamplayers - superiority complex.

Negative Aspects: ”The Moaners” = to grumble about any issue ceaselessly mostly to their nearest and dearest.
Likes to show-off to others, envy can take hold over what someone else has, can’t take criticism, misleads on purpose, spiteful, has a tendency to throw things mentioned back in your face, demanding and can’t cope with any kind of changes, likes to play the role of a martyr, accusational; without facts, they are also relational aggressive, tantrum prone, lacks responsibility, an infant school playground mentality, never likes anyone else acquiring things in life or having a good or better time; other than themselves — whatever the occasion, attention-seeker: hates the feeling of being missed out and uses inference as a social hindrance tactic.

Furthermore, gives back-handed compliments and a criticaster; inferior critic, also when in the company of those considered not to be in her league plays dumb or feign forgetfulness simply to be acroamatic: orally secretive, as not to *lose face* so playth the ‘damsel in distress’ thus can be thought of as socially lazy and patronising. - inferiority complex (inferior traits).

Psychological Weakness: isolation – due to lack of purpose.
Favourite Comment: “Who do you think you are?!!” and “Think you’re better than me!”
Self Absorbed Factor:
obsessions with outward ‘things’ and/or ‘trophy relationships’, that is, of the seems to be to me kind of self-importance.
When asked: ”what do you want?” They won’t know where to start or be able to say unless its in categories.
Trait Summary: agitator

Beta Female Social World View:
Family Life: they view their family life liken to their favourite talk shows and soap opera (along with the repeats) on television, that is, life is played out with drama, as there is constant comings and goings, and they love the thrill of “we interrupt this transmission due to…” programs that is sometimes broadcast, because they feel it mirrors their own life’s pace, as somehow they seem to think, that everyone lives (or should live) in that same pattern of lifestyle.

Friendships: declines meaningful friends with other women hence inclined to be a frenemy. She likes to be popular as to have kindred spirits, so everyone will become her alter ego, she hopes. Endings: They harbour ill-will and make you pay indirectly or directly through the legal/social system, then expects your forgiveness. Prone to bitterness against the adolescents, as they’re coming into their looks and who later in years manage to retain their looks (see weblink article: I used to be the one who turned men’s heads, but now it’s my teenage daughter… and it makes me so jealous.)

Their ideal partner:
BETA MALE (Fella)
The Beta Male is someone such as Ken Carson and this is because he is all about appearances (ie. ‘pulse: the new fragrance’ male), otherwise known as the ‘playboy’ for he will always fancy a specific type of female and this mind-set will remain unchanged; they trust a certain type of female being a sure thing, but if a woman changes even slightly, she’ll be dumped without hesitation. For the Beta males are the followers and the social sycophants, they are as likely to follow the relationship trend set by their male friends and family, as they like an easy time of things for limited hassles in life. The Beta males are the reliable, sweet, sensitive guys. Some are even cute and/or cuddly. Beta males are often more reserved however they are prone to sulk. They respect women and are sensitive to their feelings.

Therefore heterosociality men view girlie girls as fun to be around for a good time, whilst she likes to *borrow* other females men as a girly girl thinks he’s a disposal item. She prefers to stand behind him at events. She is loved for her poster-girl smile and general cheerfulness.

Relationship term: “I hooked/bagged my man.”

********************

FEMALE TYPE: ALPHA
Core Feminine Attribute: Action

“Woman is a miracle of divine contradictions”.
(quote by Jules Michelet, French Historian)

LADYBOY : A ladyboy is a woman who when a young girl was a ‘tomboy’, having mellowed when reaching adulthood thus typically they are specious. But still exhibits some characteristics of the gender role of a boy through some of these characteristics: the wearing of typically masculine-oriented types of clothes. The practice of games and activities (often physical in nature) that are typically considered to be the domain of men, as more inclined to like the ‘six-pack stomach’ rather than a rounded stomach that denotes femininity.

Alpha Female Work Ethic traits:

View of Life: Monochrome. (Glass half empty.)
And ’Competitive’ means to out-do anyone or anything to be first, win, and game-over as to get results (position) because they play it with cleverness. Inclined to be a genius. Most likely to do an ‘IQ Mensa’ test.
Symbolised by: a ladder.

Their ideal forum: the private sector workplace
Work category: Career.
Private sector Icon: Anita Roddick
Judged on: Value (monetary bonuses).

Sociological Concern: Saving the environment of the planet.

Competitive Summary: Moralist.

Alpha Female Character Traits:

Positive Aspects:
Disciplined, dedicated, has strong will-power, can handle pressure in their work environment only, and is a soloist - supernumerary complex (being extra).

Negative Aspects:

”The Whingers” = to complain about the same issue constantly to anyone in ear-shot.
They live through other people. Infuriate to start arguments. Likes to humiliate/expose others: being in any kind of relationship with them, they’d make you appear bad to others always. Jealousy can rear up its head quickly over what someone does, tactless; with throwaway comments, challenging as hates authority, likes to be perceived as a victim of circumstances, irrationally associates blame to others, impatient, smug, egotistical, mean-spirited; petty or malicious, contradictional, and any assumed slights will be confrontational; as having the first and last word mentioned thus *giving front* and will exploit any weakness or faults to boost their own self-esteem.

In addition brings up what other people did or didn’t do; purely to out-number by name-dropping, so ending up one-sided and heavily weighed in their favour; they are the mistresses of one upmanship, tendency to use guilt as a social hindrance tactic as being encased as a psychological manipulator. – superfluous complex (insecurity traits).

Psychological Weakness: obsessive disorder – due to lack of security.

Favourite Comment: “Think you know more than me?!” and “I’ll cut you down to size!”

Self Absorbed Factor: me, me, me, me; as selfish to the core therein doesn’t leave room for much else, so as to be self-serving.

When asked: “what do you desire?” They’d have a list to run through, and will have another list on hand too.

Trait Summary: antagonist

Alpha Female Social World View:

Family Life: they view the family life liken to any game show, as they feel its similiar to the reality tv programs, because its only temporarily on their screen once a week, before they move to the adventure/adult channels on cable or satellite station; with a switch of the remote control, thus never show them the BBC Trade Test Transmission, because it can affect their home life; if it remains the same day in and day out without winning the ‘family fortune’ and/or participating in ‘Mr and Mrs’ regularly on the answer of a question.

Friendships: inclined with the preference to befriend men rather than other women hence queen bees. She likes to be well connected, so everyone will know her, at some point or other. Endings: They bear grudges and will turn everyone against you including family and any future friends of yours. Prone to sourness against the very young, as they’ve got their whole life ahead of them.

Their ideal partner:
ALPHA MALE (Macho)
The Alpha Male is someone such as Mr Big and he is all about personality (ie. the ‘its all worked out beautifully’ male), for he is known as ‘the player’, as he thinks that all women are toys in life, therefore made for his entertainment and likes to be impressed by women before he makes his choice, thus has the peter pan syndrome in relationship terms. He found out about women from his father or uncle, who he emulated when reaching his teens. The Alpha males are the top dog, the most dominant and successful. Also the Alpha male has a strong and overpowering personality however tendency to mood swings. They are the leaders of the pack, the rebels, the bad boys as Alpha males don’t often stick around for very long; as they are known for breaking hearts particularly Beta females.

Thus heterosociality men view ladyboys as being the kind to be adventurous therein exciting to hang about with, meanwhile she thinks *every man* is hers by entitlement; as a ladyboy has no qualms in relationship limitation − they have none. Whilst she prefers to stand in front of him at events. She is loved for her living life to the full and go-getting attitude.

Relationship term: “I picked/chose him out from all the rest.”

********************

FEMALE TYPE: ALPHA-OMEGA
Core Feminine Attribute: Mind

“A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking.” (quote by Malcolm de Chazal, Mauritian Writer)

ULTRA GIRL : An ultra girl is a woman with a mature attitude, who when younger was shy but approachable, and didn’t do things to draw attention to herself, she was just noticed. Also there was a time when Alpha-Omega females were once called the fair sex . Her manner of dress would be always to appear stylish and yet functional. The term woman is usually reserved for an adult but the Alpha-Omega females were ahead of their time in mental growth, therefore had a head start on maturity and their feminine natures.

Alpha-Omega Female Work Ethic traits:

View of Life: Spectrum. (Glass is mine.)
As ‘driven’ is a force of achievements that isn’t foreseeable until it happens and reveals itself to others by outcomes. Its to have a just do and will be so mentality, with more coming forth with each move. Plus with emphasis of arriving none the less (power) for they play by intellect. Inclined to be a generalist. Most likely to do a ’Psychometric test’.
Symbolised by: a rain droplet into a pool of water.

Their ideal forum: The home domain.
Work category: Métier (job; manual, trade; intellectual, profession; experience, skills).
Home sphere Icon: Eleanor Roosevelt
Judged on: Validation (community awards).

Sociological Concern: the quality of life.

Driven Summary: Pragmatic.

Alpha-Omega Female Character Traits:

Positive Aspects:
Offers excellent leadership. Authoritative. Even though brash in attitude (are judged too harshly and shallow by others no matter what background or ethnicity they come from) they’ve a good heart, full of good intentions, and flexible to changes. Principled, amenable, is conative; mentally striving and expressing endeavours, offers criticism as improvements; helpful, has self-control, are multi-taskers; in prioritising, and are facilitators: as they tend to be explainers and informers - supremacy complex.

Negative Aspects: “The Nags” = to ask for something to be done over 25 times in any given period of time.
Possessiveness can manifest at certain times over what they’ve got that no-one else has, cares for or does, parsimonous, ignores others; doesn’t suffer fools gladly whatever the gender or age group, shrewdish, difficult; sheer bloody mindedness as doesn’t like to give in easily, argumentative; they tend to tell you, and if they don’t like something they won’t hold back until they’ve *got it off their chest*, captious and a hector.

Moreover, undermines; by showing how things should be done, blunt and a misanthrope; as in their ironic speech hence invidious. Tends to like their views through rose-tinted glasses; choose words and actions very carefully for snob effect. - supercilious complex (unconfident traits).

Psychological Weakness: clinical depression – due to lack of external control in the environment around them.

Favourite Comment: “Told you so.”

Self Absorbed Factor: inward looking then the ‘whatever’ word used followed by a shrug, as to have self-regard.

When asked: “What do you need?” They’d be very specific and graphic.

Trait Summary: protagonist

Alpha-Omega Female Social World View:

Family Life: they view the family life to be very much like their favourite comedy, documentary and special interest television programs, and that is, because it shows how things can change suddenly but yet brings out things that reflect choices, which can also mask life’s other ups and downs that happens to each member regarding their contribution to the household.

Friendships: inclined with a genderless approach to friendships hence they’d be the crunch mater. She likes to keep close associations, so not everyone can know of her, only through the grapevine or by chance.

Endings: They cut you off completely. Prone to saltiness against the old, as they’ve not much time left.

Their ideal partner:

GAMMA MALE (Manly Man)

The Gamma Male is someone such as James Bond and he is about character, (ie. the ‘because the lady loves milk tray’ male) and is known as the ‘silent type’ for he’ll observe a specific female for awhile as he likes to see her in different social situations before making his move, and when he does he’ll usually stay committed; as most heterosexual dalliances has been done in his youth and he learnt most about how to treat a woman from female relatives, so he brings experience to the relationship. For Gamma males are more laid back, affectionate, but independent and capable on their own. Gamma Males aren’t interested in leadership, but neither are they in being a follower. To all appearances the Gamma male may seem like the Alpha or Beta male, but looking closer at him, he’ll surprise you. He is a startling mixture of raw, sensual cockiness and sweetness, with respectful adoration for women, although he broods, as the Gamma male combines both the best and worst from the separate species of male types of Alpha and Beta.

so which traits are you woman? ;P

alpha?

hurm.. ni kes tgk criminal minds byk sgt.. and satu hari terdgr bout 'alpha people' in this series.. (kesian kan? lambat..hehe) so aku pn menggunakan kemudahan google utk mencari orang-orang 'alpha'.. so ini yg dijumpai..

the alpha is the individual in the community with the highest rank (wikipedia.com, 2009)

huh? err.. so? aku tak phm jgk.. since criminal minds suka sgt mempersoalkan personality of alpha people.. so aku google lagi.. haha (cuba mengaitkan crime ngan alpha people).. selepas tu mula la jmpa beta, gamma, delta, dan omega.. eyh2? byk plak.. huh.. org blaja psychology tahu la kot.. ke aku yg katak bawah tempurung? hurm..

so skang nak ckp psl alpha jer.. yg len crk sendiri.. hehe.. so ni yg aku jumpa..

jom tgk alpha female dulu ;P

Alpha Female Characteristics


Every woman has Alpha Female traits inside of them; some are just better at showing it than others. While most women are passive and wait for or use silent flirting to get men to approach them, the Alpha Female calls all the shots in her world and makes things happen. Inside of the true Alpha Female lies an inner security that is lacking in many other women. So, how do you know if you're dealing with an Alpha Female? Below are the top five Alpha Female characteristics.


1. Independence
The Alpha Female is fiercely independent, can take care of herself and doesn't need a man in her life. She will want to be the one to set up dates and will often tell you she is busy when you ask. She will also insist on paying her part for movie tickets, getting into clubs, and for meals. She doesn't want to be in a position where she feels that she owes you in some way. She does not want to be tied down to any man and won’t rely on you for everything.


2. Assertiveness
The Alpha Female asserts influence and control and won’t be pushed around. She stands up for herself and quickly puts people in their place if they try to disrespect her. The Alpha Female is articulate and speaks with her mouth as well as with her eyes. She is a strong woman who knows what she wants, feels and needs and easily expresses these things. The Alpha Female is used to having men pursue her and give in to her every whim; therefore, she is selective about who she invites into her life and will quickly let you know she's not into you.


3. Confidence
The Alpha Female truly loves herself and is comfortable in her own skin. She loves her body and her brain and she works them out regularly. She knows her own value and sees that she’s beautiful from the inside out. She is playful, yet determined and you will find that an Alpha Female is extremely sure of herself. She won’t settle for less than the absolute BEST in everything from men to her career. She's on top of her dating game and doesn't doubt for a moment that she has the ability to get any man she wants. She gives you a run for your money and doesn't make it easy to pick her up.


4. Sex Appeal
You will find that the Alpha Female isn't always the most beautiful woman out there; however, she always practices making herself look good, knows the hottest parties and gets into every club without waiting. She flirts with you and moves her body in ways that make you think of sex. She's a fashion leader who is able to wear a varied wardrobe with elegance, flair and style. She doesn't blend in with the crowd and you immediately know when she walks in the room because of her charisma and dynamic presence.


5. Ambition
The Alpha Female is actively pursuing dreams or goals and is not concerned with a man making enough money to provide for her. She manages to rise to the top in her career because of her style and intellect and is not afraid to use, and sometimes, exploit her femininity to get her way with men or seal business deals. Simply put, she is a woman who is completely in control of her destiny.


so.. bacer2.. aku terpikir.. wujud eyh girl like this? (mula memikirkan gadis2.. wanita2 yg pernah aku jumpa dlm hidup..) pikir2... ader!! hehe.. guess who? haha.. ok2.. aku xley deny kot.. walaupun menyampah dulu2 kat die (well.. dier yg jeles dulu sbb i lg cute dr dier.. sorry doc.. haha) she's hot.. i mean.. duuhh... yang deny mesti jeles ni.. haha..
okey2.. enuf with that.. hurm so this is alpha man.. check it out gurlz:>>

Never Qualifies Himself: The alpha male makes no apologies, he doesn’t explain his behavior. he is completely comfortable in his own skin so he doesn’t need to. They don’t boast about their success or try and prove anything – again they don’t need to; they assume you will like them simply because other people do, but they don’t care if you don’t – they won’t chase after you for your validation, they don’t care.

Talks Slow: Notice when you talk to someone you look up to you will talk faster – Talking fast is a way to qualify yourself to someone – essentially you are scared they will stop listening or find some more interesting stimulous, so you get your point out quick so they will listen – it actually has the opposite effect, and it shows your lower status.

Doesn’t Look Around: He is the party and the focus of attention – he is unconcerned with what other people are doing.

Is The Focus of Attention: He is centrally positioned in the group, everyones body language faces him and is positive towards him – you can tell the alpha male of the group just by looking at them. Expect to be the focus and position yourself to be so, step up within your group and you will start to take on this dominant role.

Take The Glory: When you tell a funny joke they take it one further and steal the laugh, when you do something cool they congratualte you for it and give you their approval. When you have an idea they acknowledge it and add to it – giving their approval and tweaking the idea it becomes their own, and they get the credit for it.

Are Never Impressed: They can be self centered and unimpressed with the achievements of others. They are high achievers themselves and strive for success so they have seen it all before – it takes a lot, or a really high value to impress them – they have high standards on every level.

Enjoy a Challenge: They enjoy making friends with beta males, but with another alpha guy they often become “enemies”. The alpha male needs to be the alpha at all times and will compete with another male for the dominant position – if he is really the alpha male he will enjoy this opportunity.

Don’t Answer Questions: They often give a non-sensical or a basic response to questions you ask them where you are trying for conversation, trying to find common ground, or trying for report – by asking you to “guess” they are controling the frame and leading the interaction and keeping their alpha male status.

Don’t Care About You: they are self focused, you are there to entertain them, but they are above you – he believes world evolves around him and everyone is there to help him, entertain him or sleep with him – as he chooses.

Can Show A Nicer Side and Get Away With It: This goes back to not caring what people think. he can be nice / genuine / down to earth if he wants to and on the occasions that he is he gets even more credit for it – he isn’t a geek trying to be nice for validation, he is a cool guy who has a down to earth side sometimes.

Is Comfortable In His Own Skin: Ultimately he is comfortable within his own skin, this is one of the the main alpha male characteristics, and if you can be comfortable in your own skin then everything else will follow. He doesn’t care what people think, he is assertive enough to give his own opinion, and he is happy and confident in any situation.

so aku dapat kesimpulan kenapa aku single lagi (tetiba?) hehe.. sebab aku slalu ter'crush' kat alpha male.. dang... i shud chase for 'beta' male.. a lot easier.. haha...

tetiba tertgk dating tips.. (jgn salah paham yer.. sy masih tidak suker dating2 + couple2 thingy ni) bley tgk ni.. u dun need to be alpha female btw.. u just need to know how to handle this type of guy.. wink.. haha

allowed urself to receive? that's the hardest thing to do.. terasa cam humiliate diri sendiri plak.. hehe.. sorry.. sayer mmg ego.. blueek! (teringat zaman2 tdk matang melayan kluar2 dating ni)

Hati

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Sesungguhnya, menjagamu amat sukar bagiku,
Ku tetapkan hati ,
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Ku mengorak 1001 langkah yang membawa hati ini dekat kepadaNya,
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Kerna, terlalu lemah untukku memeliharanya,

Ya Allah,
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i stalk your profile when i'm missing you

amazing voice! love her husky voice! u go girl!!!! =]